PIN FOR LATER:
Hi, my name is Katherine and I’m a introvert.
I’ve actually known this for a long time but, until recently, didn’t fully understand what that meant. Yes, I realised that it meant I get drained in big social situations faster than my extroverted friends, and that I re-energise from time spent alone, contemplating things, but I’ve also spent a lifetime berating myself for things that seemed ‘wrong’.
Because of this realisation, I’ve been wondering if there might be other out and proud introverts confused by this part of themselves too or others who don’t even realise that their inherent nature is why they do or feel things a certain way.
For so long, introverts have been misunderstood and struggling to survive in an extroverted world. A world where big, enthusiastic personalities are championed, and quiet achievers sometimes get left behind.
Related: How To Quiet The World (and stop comparing yourself to strangers on the internet)
It’s time to know that your nature is absolutely fine, just the way it is. And I always think the first step of understanding something about yourself and finding ways to learn and grow, is to admit it. So, here I am, saying it out loud.
And so I thought I’d share with you 16 signs you’re an introvert (in case you didn’t know).
16 SIGNS YOU’RE AN INTROVERT
1. You prefer one-on-one or small groups to larger social interactions.
2. You spend a lot of time deep in thought or writing to better understand your feelings and your place in the world.
3. You really dislike small talk, in fact, you find it challenging, tedious, and kind or boring.
4. You enjoy your own company and are happy to work alone. You don’t need other people for stimulation or company and it gives you time to work things out in your own mind.
5. You get deeply immersed in your work and get frustrated with interruptions, loud noises, and other distractions.
6. You take a long time to reach a decision, going through the pros and cons in your head before committing. You don’t really make impulsive decisions and dislike being pressured or put on the spot before you’ve had time to work things out on your own.
7. You let your phone go to voicemail or do a host of other things to avoid speaking on the phone.
8. You get exhausted or overwhelmed in big groups and find yourself standing to the side (or near the closest exit), finding solace in another person, or sneaking away quietly, hoping others won’t notice.
9. You aren’t a big fan of surprises or situations that you haven’t had time to process properly.
10. Your friends describe you as a deep thinker and a great listener. But sometimes they don’t understand why you are suddenly so quiet or seem to be ‘down’ some days.
11. You are more than happy to spend your down time reading a book, writing, or having a quiet night in. In fact, you prefer it.
12. You don’t like to brag or even really talk about yourself and prefer to direct the conversation towards the other person.
13. You might seem difficult to get to know or understand but, once people get in with you, they have your trust, loyalty and a friend deeply cares about them. Even if you’re not always up for social encounters and you screen their calls sometimes.
14. You feel drained around big personalities, sometimes avoid them. In fact, you know pretty quickly who you like and dislike and can be quite picky about who you spend your time with.
15. You can handle doing the ‘extrovert’ thing. For a while. But can physically feel when it’s time to go home and not talk to anyone for a little while.
16. You don’t really like to talk in the mornings and could easily go hours without speaking to anyone. And you’re really, really fine with being alone.
ARE YOU AN INTROVERT?
Did you find yourself nodding along to any of these? Have you, like me, had any revelations about yourself or maybe someone special in your life?
What’s really interesting to know is that the introvert/extrovert scale is a long one. Not everyone is at the same place on the spectrum and some people can fall smack bang in the middle of the two (known as ambiverts).
Therefore, people with a more introverted nature need to take time alone to regenerate and fill their energy back up after being out in the world. Extroverts thrive off this external stimulation.
Related: What It Means To Be Highly Sensitive (and an Introvert)
I’d love to know where you fall and if you’re like me and really starting to accept and embrace things about yourself that you always felt made you antisocial, not good enough, or like there might be something wrong with you.
Leave a comment below and if you know someone who might really relate to this list, it would be so wonderful if you shared it with them as well.
Want to connect with some fellow introverts and highly sensitive people in a quiet way without having to leave your house?
Join the League of Extraordinary Introverts community by entering your details below (plus get free instant access to the Step Into Your Soul Work visualisation and workbook!)
Great article and I love the insight you share about introverts. I would say I lean towards being more of an introvert! Point number 3 really surprised me, about disliking small talk. I have noticed that I really dislike small talk, even with close friends! I find it tedious. I’m also guilty of always steering the conversation back to the other person and always asking them questions….so I don’t have to talk about myself. Thanks again for this insight!
Thanks, Ainslie! I’m so glad you enjoyed it. And, yes, I included that one because it was a massive revelation for me as well! It’s something that I’ve always felt bad about but it is so refreshing to know that it’s actually something that feels unnatural to introverts (instead of feeling like there’s something wrong with me!)
It scares me how in tune we are sometimes Katherine. I only just wrote a post about being an introvert a couple of weeks back that is scheduled to be posted in May.
I am absolutely an introvert, and find that working with it, rather than fighting against it, has been one of my biggest assets and loves in business and life.
Absolutely loved reading your list here, and definitely found my head nodding along vigorously.
Ahhh that’s so funny, Naomi! The more I’ve been reading and learning about it, the more I’ve realised that understanding our nature is so vital to our success and happiness!
Katherine, I loved this!
I am definitely an introvert and when I started embracing this about myself it had a profound influence on my life. I used to feel so guilty for not being energised by other people but now that I honour that in myself I show up better for the people in my life.
Beautiful, Chloe! So wonderful that you realised this and took positive steps with it.
Oh my god I nearly nodded my head off ;-). I was aware of some of these traits. Not number 16 though! Just thought I was being moody. If I didn’t have to talk or interact till lunch time I’d be happy!
Haha Sandra, I’m not surprised at all! You are such a beautifully deep thinker, it’s definitely fitting!
Thanks so much Katherine, I am 16 signs introvert and so much time struggle not to fit because of this!! I feel today empower that maybe knowing me better can really be a strength!
love to you
Oh Caroline, I’m so glad that it helped you! I definitely think it’s about learning to understand our natural way of being and embrace that in our lives and business! Good luck with it all x
I love this! I’ve been thinking I was an introvert for quite some time but I still can’t fully commit to being one. All the points you made resonate with me but I still do thrive in a BIG group of people (so weird right!) but I do need to prepare myself for the BIG hoopla by knowing WAY in advance and knowing that I’ll be right back into my introvert corner when it’s all said and done 🙂
It’s really interesting that you say that, Pat! I think the most common misconception is that we are all one or all the other. The thing is that we all fall into different places on the introvert/extrovert spectrum.
People are definitely surprised when I say I’m an introvert, because I also have an empathic kind of energy that means I pick up on the energy of others. I definitely need to get away to my introvert corner too, though! Which probably why I associate with this more! Thanks for stopping by x
I am absolutely an introvert, in every sense. I really enjoy my alone time and I could spend days without any other human interaction and be completely fine. I think the most irritating thing is when i’m sitting there and I have a “flashback” to something embarrassing II’ve done and I have a knee jerk reaction to make some disgust noise, my whole body will shiver and then I’m in an irritable mood because I’m upset with myself. It makes me feel like I have some serious mental issues!
I can’t believe I forgot to include that, Alexandria! Getting fixated on the tiny details of things that happened years ago!? Talk about brain overload. Thanks for sharing x