It’s one of the things that will either make you or break you. In business. In love. In friendship. In learning. In life.
It’s owning who you are – all the flawed and wonderful bits – it’s standing up proudly and backing yourself.
Confidence is something I’ve definitely struggled with in the past and it’s something I talk to my clients about every day. Usually it’s the thing that is standing in the way of them taking that first step to getting what they want in life.
If you don’t step up and own your awesome – become confident in who you are – . Who will believe in you if you don’t? So here are my five best tips to own your awesome:
1. Identify Your Strengths
When I first started working with a coach last year, I was stumped by the ‘list your strengths’ question. I couldn’t actually identify what I was good at. I hadn’t really ever sat and thought about it, so the natural thought was that I probably had them but I wasn’t really confident about them.
When I ask my clients this question, I often get the response that they don’t really know. And, if not, they usually tell me that it took them a while to answer that question because it was such a hard question.
Often, we just assume that the things that are easy for us or that come naturally are the same for everyone else. Guess what? Not true. You would probably be surprised how much people envy your ability to do something that you don’t even have to think about.
When you start to really see what you can do, acknowledge your uncommon abilities and strengths, your confidence will naturally grow.
Spend some time really thinking about what you’re good at. What do people ask you to help them with?
2. Let go of limiting beliefs
Ever since my primary school principal told my mum that they were worried about my ‘lack of ball skills’, I have pretty much believed that I’m crap at anything fitness related. This makes training with my PT/boyfriend tough because I always think I’m doing everything wrong and that I’ll never get it.
Intellectually, I understand that my body is going to need some time to get used to training differently. But also that as long as I’m telling myself I can’t do it, I will give up in my mind long before my body gives up.
Being aware of these limiting beliefs is the first step to getting past them.
What are you telling yourself you can’t do? Even if it’s subconscious, I can guarantee you that you’re making it your reality. Recognise it and then let it go.
3. Practise Confidence
As we get older, something we forget about is that kids can’t do stuff straight away. But as they keep trying, they get better at it. Adults, on the other hand, are so scared of failing or looking stupid, that we often give up before we even get going.
Imagine if you had to learn to walk or talk as an adult, It would be pretty terrifying. But, for kids, they have no option, they have to keep going until they get there. They practise and practise and, eventually stand up or say ‘mum’, and then they keep going until they can talk.
You don’t get good at something overnight, and you certainly don’t get perfect at it. So stop trying.
Just practise and the confidence will come as – step by step – you get better.
4.Spend time with people who uplift you
This is a big one but it’s, perhaps, the most subtle because I doubt you notice the gradual, but enormous, effect the people in your life have on you.
Ever had someone genuinely complement you and make your day? Or, alternatively, say something snide that makes you feel instantly self conscious?
This can affect a moment in your day and, over longer periods of time, can have a much more dramatic impact.
Think about it after encountering people in your lives: did you walk away from them feeling uplifted or feeling heavy? Spend more time with the people who leave you feeling the way you want to feel and see what a difference it makes.
5. Own it.
Have you ever met someone who just completely owns their awesome? They know where their strengths lie and they’re not afraid to be imperfect. They just accept themselves and know that the people who matter will love them regardless, so why worry about anyone else?
This takes practise, I’m sure.
But it’s the whole ‘fake it til you make it’ thing.
If you know yourself, and you can learn to truly accept and actually love who you are, you stop giving a shit what everyone else thinks and you just get on with it. You own it.
Try and make a real effort to own it. Start small, practice, and really get to know and accept the many facets of who you are. And then watch how people admire your confidence.
Let me know if any of these tips helped you (or if you have any to add) and, even better, if you know someone who could do with a boost of confidence, share this post with them, you can’t even imagine how much it might help someone!