As the beautiful, spirited, creative, and constantly evolving human I know you are, it’s inevitable that – from time to time – you will change your mind.
Shock horror!
It happens.
But, with that, you might find yourself experiencing a host of other emotions that look something like this:
+ Guilt around heading in a different direction
+ Shame about not getting it “right” the first time
+ Worry of what others will think of you
+ Anxiety that you’ll let someone down or they’ll get mad at you
+ Anger at yourself for not sticking with your original plan or decision
+ Fear that this might be “wrong” as well
I have one thing to say:
It’s time to let go of what you think ‘should’ be and embrace that every decision is leading you somewhere.
We strive for this thing called perfection, but it’s a myth.
Perfection would be simple and boring and monotonous.
We fear looking stupid or letting people down or going back on something we said previously, when we were in a different place, seeing the world with different eyes.
But things change. People change. Circumstances change. The world around us changes.
Life is full of crazy, messy change. And, so, I’m pretty sure the way to change your mind and not look stupid is to embrace this notion, wholeheartedly.
Messy is creative. It’s fun. It’s adventurous and complicated and exciting and sometimes it hurts but it makes us really FEEL alive and appreciate the wonderful times. It’s the scenic route that takes us to places we never thought imaginable.
It’s making a decision and then changing our minds and heading down a different path. It’s going back to what felt right. It’s knowing that we never really know what we want until we find what we don’t want.
If you don’t believe me that it’s okay to change your mind or your direction:
:: Read this post
:: Read Mastin Kipp’s incredible scenic route in Daily Love: Growing Into Grace
:: Watch Jobs and see what leaving (and returning to) Apple did for Steve Jobs
:: Read this article on The Change Blog
:: Take Edward DeBono’s advice – “If you can’t change your mind, why have one?”
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The thing is, we don’t know what tomorrow will bring. You are the only person who has to live your life and if you’re worried that people are going to judge you for making a choice about YOUR life, that probably says more about them and their plans for you than anything.
To change your mind or have a ‘do over’ or listen to your heart are the things that make you YOU, as long as you’re not intentionally hurting anyone, you need to do what feels right and have your own back (because why should someone else, if you don’t?)
Everything feels like the right decision at the time. And if it’s not, you can guarantee that it will lead you somewhere even better than you had initially thought.
Be intentional. Make decisions with a curious and thoughtful mind. Let go of the belief that you are in control of what happens next. And know that you can always change your mind again.
There’s a bit of a side story to this post and I’ll be sharing it in my next newsletter. If you’re curious, make sure you’re on the list (pop your name in the box below).
And please share this with someone who might be stressing about making the wrong decision (you might really help them!)
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Hear hear Katherine! Great post.
I think that most people don’t really care that much if you change your mind. If you are acting from a place of authenticity and own your decisions then most people won’t question you.
Besides at the end of the day it’s your life and you have to live it as you feel is best. What’s that Dr Seuss quote? Those that mind don’t matter and those that matter don’t mind.
Big love
Nic x x
Thanks, love!
I completely agree! Worrying about what others will think is probably a judgement of your own thoughts, to be honest. Love a Dr Seuss quote! Hope you’re well xx
Great read! I can relate to all of the emotions around changing my mind
at some point or another. Words of wisdom that I’m loving: “It’s going back
to what felt right” and “It’s knowing that we never really know what we want until we find what we don’t want”. Nodding and uh-huh-ing with those two x
Thanks, Heidi! So glad that you got something out of it.
Smart, helpful, supportive and informative post Katherine, thank you. I really enjoyed it.
It’s human nature to make a decision and then think that’s it, we can’t change our mind – particularly if we’ve put it out there for public accountability! But a change of mind is just another decision and really what it shows is that we’re flexible and open to changing paths if the one we’re on isn’t working.
I love how you said that messy is creative and fun. So true. Life would be incredibly boring if we just made a decision and presto, whatever we decided came to fruition immediately. Then what? As you say, let go of the control/belief you’re in control and just enjoy life for all its mess, fun and adventure.
Oh thank you, Sarah! That’s so lovely of you to say, and I’m so glad that you enjoyed the post. You’re so right, what you said about it being human nature to change our mind. There’s a Jim Rohn quote that I love, “If you don’t like something, then change it. You are not a tree.”
Thanks for stopping by!