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Emerge and Expand 002: Coaching As A Sovereign Leader with Julie Parker

Welcome to the first ever interview in the Do Business Differently series with my guest Julie Parker – Founder and CEO of the Beautiful You Coaching Academy.

In this episode, we chat about:

  • Being multipassionate and infusing all parts of you into your business
  • How to not get caught up in the noise online and be led by your own inner guidance
  • The trend of income claim marketing in the coaching industry
  • What to look for when choosing a coach

Julie Parker (she/her) is the Founder of The Beautiful You Coaching Academy, Co-Founder of Priestess Temple School and a mentor, counsellor, coach, supervisor and guide for sacred leaders and space holders. She has trained thousands of life coaches from around the world to birth their soul businesses and has had a thriving counselling and coaching practice for nearly two decades.

Julie has inspired thousands of people as an in-demand speaker for clients including Apple, Telstra and Soulpreneurs, is the recipient of numerous leadership and women’s awards, is an international award winning published author and host of the top ranking Priestess Podcast where she has interviewed some of the world’s great spiritual thought leaders. As a devoted and practising priestess, Julie is committed to contributing to a world where presence, healing and social justice are honoured.

You can learn more about Julie via her website, Priestess Podcast, or over on Instagram.

If you’d like to learn more about training as a coach with the Beautiful You Coaching Academy, you can read about my experience here.

You can also connect directly with Beautiful You here

And check out my updated review here

FULL TRANSCRIPT:

KMS: Hello and welcome to the Emerge + Expand podcast, episode number 2. This is the first guest interview from the Do Business Differently series and I’m so excited today that it’s with the wonderful Julie Parker CEO and Founder of the Beautiful You Coaching Academy. Let’s get into it.

KMS: Julie Parker is the founder of the beautiful you coaching academy, co-founder of priestess temple school, and a mentor, counselor, coach, supervisor, and guide for sacred leaders and space holders. She’s trained thousands of life coaches from around to the world to birth their sole businesses and has had a thriving counseling and coaching practice for nearly two decades. Julie has inspired thousands of people as a speaker for clients, including Apple, Telstra and so on, is the recipient of numerous leadership and women’s awards, is an international, award-winning published author and host of the top ranking Priestess Podcast, where she has interviewed some of the world’s great spiritual thought leaders as a devoted and practising priestess. Julie is committed to contributing to a world where presence, healing, and social justice are on. Julie is someone who in the last, almost 10 years, we’ve known each other has been my coach, teacher, boss, mentor, friend, and a fierce supporter of my work. I’m so honored to know this woman and to have her as the first guest in the do business differently podcast series. Hi Julie, thank you so much for being here. 

JP: Thank you so much, Katherine, for any opportunity to be in space with you. I am delighted to be here. 

KMS: I’m so excited to talk to you today. I know that you always drop so many nuggets. I cannot tell you how often I am just quoting you word for word from something that you said eight years ago, that I’m still like my mentor, Julie Parker would say, so everyone get your notebooks out because I know there’s gonna be so many gems here today.  But Julie, for anyone who isn’t super familiar with you and your story, can we just start by giving everyone an idea of like what it is that you actually do today? Because there are so many things and I think that you can probably explain it so much better than I’ll be able to. 

JP: Oh, you know what? This seems like such an easy question. Yeah. But it’s actually really challenging when you have been in the personal development coaching field for as long as, as I have, you know, like two decades. But I think the easiest way for me to feel into and explain what it is that I do now is that I’m a space holder for space holders. 

KMS: Mm love that. 

JP: That’s what I do both on a one on one level, but also in a teaching training level, guiding and teaching and training new and emerging life coaches. And yeah, that just feels like the heart of it, Katherine, is I am absolutely passionate about people who are in service to individuals, children, teens, families, their community, and our collective planet as a whole. I love them for the fact that there is a part of their heart that has drawn them into work that is in service to us all and therefore needs to be in service to them too. There’s something very, very special about these people. And I cannot imagine myself not supporting them in some way for a very long time to come. 

KMS: Mm. I love that so much. And I love how you’ve managed to distill all of the things that you do into something that’s actually quite a huge bucket. It’s a big one. 

KMS: Yeah. So often people come to me and they’re like, oh, I’m multi passionate. How am I ever going to, you know, cut through the noise and be successful if I’ve got all these different things that I wanna do. And so often there is a through line and a connection between all of those things. How did you find that? Has that just been an experiment? 

JP: I think it’s been very experiential and an adventure and a journey. And so for anyone that is having those thoughts or feels at the moment, please just keep searching, you know, keep exploring, keep doing your work and keep doing their work and your connection and through line will come to you in some way as well. And often it’s not as far away, I believe Katherine than we think it is. You know, because you are talking at the moment to, you know, a counselor and a life coach trainer and a priestess and a, you know, I mean, if I wanted to or anybody else wanted to, I could very much compartmentalize those things, but I don’t want to do that. And also in business, which is what we are really here to be inspired and talk about. It’s also not wise, you know, finding that through line and that connection in some way is very important to be able to, I think, make sense of what it is that you do and for others to make sense of what it is that you do too. Because when people have those pennies drop the connections, click things come together, they start to think, okay, I get this now I, I get the process that we could move through together. I get the journey that I’m being called to and that you might be the right guide or the right, the right course leader for me. 

KMS: And it’s really interesting cuz one of the thoughts that I had this morning when I was thinking about what I’d love to talk to you about was this idea of, and you I’m sure are super aware of this. I know from all of the new coaches that I’ve worked with over the years, that this does seem to be a bit of a pattern that when we’re trying something new and we’re starting something new, whether that’s becoming a coach or starting a business in whatever that might be, that there can be this tendency to go and put ourselves into that box of what we think a life coach might look like and how we need to shift parts of who we are and our identity in order to fit into that box. And one of the things that I say over and over again is like, we’re not a monolith. Like there’s no identity of what being a coach is. And in actual fact coaching just like any other modality is a skill set. I believe that can transfer and translate across so many different things versus thinking that we have to shift and change our identity to be like what we perceive a life coach to be. So I would be really interested to hear your thoughts on that. 

JP: Well, let’s just begin by saying I am in 100% agreeance with everything that you say and you know, this is where our conversation could get really interesting, Katherine, because we can start talking about things such as capitalism, white supremacy, patriarchy, all those things that all love to put people in boxes and love to constrict them, love to label them, love to say, you are gonna do this. You can’t do that. This is who you are. And that can happen in all industries, any industries, coaching, education, health, you know, we could just go on and on. And if we don’t question, if we don’t really, really sit back and think about, well, hang on a second here. Since when did I have to change? Who says I have to change? Who got to make that rule? Who said that this is what a life coach looks like and should be like and act like, and have this sort of life. Then we can so easily just fall into quite literally that trapped box and think, well, I’ve gotta change. I have to shift. I have to morph and nothing could be further from the truth. We all get to define ourselves in exactly the way that we want in any given moment as a coach, as a space holder service provider and a business owner, particularly if we’re attempting to send the message to our clients, that they can do the same. 

JP: Yeah. So let’s like the alignment of that. Like so many people saying, I want you to be who you are. I want you and yet what, what are they actually doing with themselves? And so there is no one way. And also I think it’s important to say that so often these labels and definitions, at least I’ve found in my experience gain traction from the critics, they gain traction from the cheap seats and then people start to take on those personas of, oh well to be a great life, coach have to have a perfect life and to be a great life coach you, she would, you would never have experienced any mental health problems or to be a great life coach. You know, everything that you think about yourself would always be aligned and beautiful and fabulous. You would never have any mindset issues. I mean, come on please. 

JP: But this sort of stuff comes from, you know, as I said, the cheap seats and people making comments like, you know, well, who are you to be a life coach or who are they to be a life coach because they’re a mess or they’re this or they’re that. And so it feeds into this very boxed, perfectionistic ideal, and the only people that get to break out of it, or just refuse to even engage in it is us. We can’t expect other people to do it because they’ll continue to do it. If it gets traction. Mm. We have to be the ones that define. 

KMS: Absolutely. Oh my goodness. I agree with so much of that. And the only thing that I would add is that it’s not even necessarily like how it has to be, but how it has to be looked like as in how it looks or how it is perceived. So like perceived success, perceived income, success, perceived perfect life. I think social media, which I know when you were starting out as a coach was not a thing that we were having to manage and learn. 

KMS: Now it’s such a huge part of our businesses, but also how we learn how we get information. And I think I was posting about this just the other day, this idea of discernment for people who are like myself, I know we’re all kind of can get caught up in that. But for people who are kind of energy sensitive who have maybe not got, are often influenced by the energy of others, it can be so easy to get wrapped up in those bigger personalities, that big energy that we are seeing when we’re scrolling social media and suddenly start questioning, start thinking, start worrying about and getting anxiety around. This seems to be the trend right now. This is the only way to do it. And one thing that you said that I think is really important is that there’s a lot of really great marketing out there that again, creates perceptions of how it has to be or the way that we must do something in order to be successful, whatever that means. 

KMS: And I love that that’s something that Beautiful You is so different about and all of the work that you do. But I would love to hear your thoughts on just the discernment when we’re scrolling from like, not just a mindset place and not just a, Hey I’m on here learning and connecting with people, but also from an energetic space of having that power and sovereignty over our own inner leadership and how we actually manage all of that when we’re trying to build community and build businesses in an online space. I know that’s such a massive question. Oh, 

JP: And you know what, it’s a massive question because gosh, this is a lot. Yeah. And I just wanna send so much love to anyone that is using these platforms, social media, whether it be Instagram, TikTok, you know, any, anything where the scroll Facebook is happening and it’s so normal and it’s so, okay. And so to be expected in the way that these, we consume information these days that we would be influenced by it in significant ways. Right? It’s so it’s so to be expected and it’s not always necessarily going to be for our highest good. And we might not necessarily realize that for some time to come until all of a sudden it comes into our consciousness when we realize, okay, my energy really is on the Fritz about this particular account, or this is the fourth time I’ve seen this messaging in my feed this week. 

JP: And yet something about it makes me feel really off or it’s not right for me. And that can be a lot to traverse because it brings up questions even around. But I see my friends liking that. Right. Or I see other people, I follow watching that and commenting and get, what does that mean? Does that mean I’m no longer aligned with people? I thought I was aligned with and the answer is yes, no. And maybe the things we we things the all are, just just, we don’t really know. And I get, I mean, this is just such a massive conversation in and of itself, Katherine, but I think the first part of it is about awareness, you know, and to me, awareness, and it sounds so simple and yet it’s not, is always something that we can only expect to come into our field. When we slow down, we have to, we have to slow down. 

JP: And these apps and platforms are not designed for that. They want to keep us on them for as long as possible, but moving, yeah. Moving. So we get lots of snippets of information, visuals, music, all those things. And I think that slowing down on there is really, really important curating things really importantly, and recognizing your energy and those feelings and that if things start to pop up for you that are just not feeling good or say unfollow, stop, don’t question yourself about that. Or how someone might think or feel anything, do it for you because when you do it for you, particularly, if you are someone who is a space holder and a service provider, you do it for your clients as well. Anything that helps your energy be more flowing, soft, gentle, discerned, aware, clean. I know some people use that language is absolutely you doing the work for you. And the more that you do the work for you, the more that you are gonna be able to show up in this divine empty presence with your clients, where you are not being rushed at with all sorts of thoughts, because you were literally scrolling five minutes before you started your session. And you’re now wondering whether you need another photo shoot. 

KMS: Yes. 

JP: That’s the sort of thing that can come into. Oh, okay. Yep. Right. Clearly I need another photo shoot or right. Okay. She’s charging 15,000 for her mastermind. I’m charging two for mine. What’s that about? Yeah. Yes. Fritzie 

KMS: Fritzie, I love that. I am gonna accept that as the official scientific term for it, but 

JP: It is energy on the Fritz. 

KMS: Yeah, absolutely. And it’s a spiral of, I think, you know, and that, that comes with, with confidence, I think, and time. And so when we are first starting out, it’s obviously so much easier to be, to have those channels all open to just accepting like, oh, I’m new at this. And I’m learning. So obviously there are people who know better than me. And I think what’s really important is that we start to develop that within ourselves. And you’re absolutely right there that take the stopping and actually being with, well, does that feel right for me? What is it about this that I’m seeing? That’s making me feel fritzy? Is it that, that I’m comparing myself to this person and starting to place myself on that capitalist hierarchical structure of not as good, not as ahead, not as successful, or is it that there’s something that my inner guidance is telling me that I need to, you know, pay attention to right now, which can oftentimes be, Hey, are you operating in alignment with your values right now? 

KMS: If you are, if these, you know, sometimes these things come up when we’re scrolling, because they’re actually a really good sign that it’s time to start checking back in. Maybe it is time to re-look at my prices. If I am I feeling this because of comparison or am I kind of being activated here by a question that I haven’t asked myself yet? Oh, and I haven’t spent time with yet. Yes. And sometimes that discomfort is actually something that we can lean into, I think, and pay attention to, versus what I agree with you, the social media apps in particular are trying to keep us on. There are trying to get us to be in that conditioning of numbing out and mindless scrolling versus actually sometimes using it as a way to practice that self discernment and feeling to work. 

JP: Absolutely. Yes. I mean, first of all, Katherine spoken like a truly divine coach, you know, all of that, that you just mentioned there. And we must, as much as we throw shade at apps, sort middle all of the things all the time, we must never, ever forget we’re in control here. We are so much more in control than we give ourselves credit for like people talk about the algorithms and this and that and all those sorts of things. It’s like, yes, but you still have a conscious choice here and you always have. Yes, you always have. And I think that part of that as well too, and I know that this has been something I’ve shared before and is a big lesson for folks is to remember that we’re all shifting, changing and evolving all the time. And that means other people around us are as well. 

JP: And this goes for newsletters, not just on social media, sometimes we’re not meant to follow someone forever. Yes. Sometimes we’re not meant to subscribe to a newsletter forever. Sometimes someone, an account, a newsletter, a concept thought person is only meant to be in our field for a season of our life or our business, and then no more. And that’s so okay too, we have to stop seeing these things as massive slights when we unfollow or unsubscribe, because when we are concerned that that’s what it’s like for them. We also, somewhere along the line are feeling that energy for ourselves when someone unfollows us or unsubscribes from us that is not being in sovereignty. And it’s not allowing others to be in this either. 

KMS: Yeah, that is, oh my goodness. I feel like we could have a whole conversation about that, that, oh, if that person unfollowed me or unsubscribed, they must hate me now versus like what we know when we unfollow people that exactly that I don’t, you know, I don’t need that right now, or that’s not where I’m at right now or in alignment with my energy and how, how much it can affect, not just the, what we are receiving, but also what we are giving and outputting as well when we’re worrying about things like that, all of the time, such a great point, such a great point in that I know there is a trend in online marketing and online business in general, but definitely something that I’ve observed over the years in the coaching space, this idea of, and this is like gonna open a massive can of worms. So again, it might be the right conversation for today. 

JP: That’s OK. Let’s go for it. Can of words, Pandora’s box, all of it. Let’s just the open. 

KMS: I love it. And I’m asking this question because I know that the I’m very, I’m fairly certain with how much I’ve been part of how long I’ve been part of the beautiful you community and how kind of involved I’ve been in the community that the, the income claim marketing that we sort of see in the coaching space and the, you know, this what feels to me often as a perception of like, oh, their success is my success and how we can, that can be used to then call in more people. And so often they’re an extreme case, but then the other side, and again, this comes step back to putting people into boxes, putting our clients into boxes of if this, you know, if you are successful in this, then I’m gonna claim that success as the success of me, of me as the coach, as the business owner, teaching this methodology or this strategy or whatever it is. 

KMS: And then that feeling of, for people who maybe don’t have that success, when they spend the tens of thousands of dollars and join, whatever it might be, then it’s like, oh, you didn’t follow the process. Oh, you didn’t do the right thing. How do you feel like seeing that in an industry that you’re just like such a big part of this idea, or, I mean, I’m just like, not a fan of claiming any of somebody else’s anything, you know, as a space holder, it is about us showing up in co-creation with each other. And the success of my clients is on them. That is their success, not my success. The thing that I love about Beautiful You and the community that you’ve built is it hasn’t been built on the back of look at all the successful coaches. Again, whatever that criteria is that we’ve created that have come out of this program. And what I’ve always loved is actually the, the giving that you and beautiful you have done to the community, the opportunities that you get as being a part of this community, the uplifting of the people who train in beautiful, you as a way of, of supporting us versus saying that person’s successful. Cause they trained with us as a coach. That person makes that much money because they’ve trained with us as a coach. I don’t even have a question I would just like to get your thought, 

JP: Okay, well, yes, this is a can of worms inside Pandora’s box inside of a whole lot of all sorts of things that we could go here. And so let me just shoot off some thoughts that are coming. First of all, the arrogance, yes. The arrogance of any that we would have to exhibit to make claim that the success of any of our graduates is, is due to us when they come with so much life, experience, pain, wisdom, other education, other training, other work that they do in so many different realms. I mean, let’s not even go there, small part of the journey for some big part of a journey for others, lots in between. Absolutely no ability to claim anything for sure. And so let’s not, shall we? So let’s, so let’s start there. Incredibly could do it. If we wanted to, of course, you know, coaches running multimillion dollar businesses, do we, it’s like not mine to claim, not ours to claim. Just hashtag wrong, right? Yeah. So there’s the first three worms digging a little bit deeper into the dirt. Shall we go? 

JP: Yes, you are 100% correct. Any coach that is using language that gives anyone the impression that what their clients are achieving is a result of their work together. I think once again, is it, it, it’s just not true because we all know as service providers, coaches, and space holders, that you can hold a space for your clients. Yes. You can provide them with a methodology, a method of process or simply coach and guide or mentor in some way. But the actual practical application of what those things may be or are, is completely out of your hands, the work has to be done by the client. Now, if a client says, I believe that my work with X has helped me to achieve X, then yes, I am a, let’s get, I wanna be clear about this. Any coach would be a little silly not to actively share that. 

JP: Yes. And, and be, but it must come from them. You know, what role they believe you’ve played in. Anything that they’ve done cannot really only truthfully be articulated by them and when it’s shared in those ways, that’s, I, I think that that’s absolutely fantastic, but must be careful about other things, you know, coming the other way. And this then leads me into the income part that you mentioned. And, you know, you also mentioned before Katherine, about trends. There are, you know, after nearly 20 years in this industry, I’ve seen some trends. I’ve seen some really delicious trends that have come and gone and also didn’t end up being a trend, but actually had sustainability and stayed on. And I’ve seen some terrible ones as well. And there is definitely a trend within the marketing world of coaching right now to talk a lot about what’s what you earn as a coach and maybe what your clients earn as well. 

JP: This is really fascinating to me, cuz it is a trend. It is something that’s new. There is a part of there’s one part of me, particularly for those folks who are woman identifying or non-binary that wants to go, you get it like that’s fantastic. Yes. Cause more money in the hands of people that traditionally have not actually had it is and can use it well for the benefit of us all is a really, really amazing thing. And then there are other elements of it that are very dark and shadowy and I’m sitting on a post at the moment that, you know, has it for social media that says how much your coach earns is not the primary thing you should be concerned about when choosing one. 

KMS: Yes. Oh my gosh. I mean, I say all time, I’m like some of my clients are more successful than me on that, on that side of things. 

JP: Absolutely. I look at some of my former cause they, they are, if what they’re saying online is true and I’m sure that it well passing me now in relation to income generation. And I’m just like here for it. Proud, incredible, all that sort of stuff. Thinking back, you know, to a small role may have played somewhere in the distant part, but this is not the primary thing. Even when you are looking for a business coach, let’s just go straight for the jugular. It is not the primary thing that I believe this is of course my opinion. Yeah. That people should be focusing on when they are choosing a coach, it may be a part of what you might look at, but you also need to be looking at things like, are they doing their inner work? Yeah. What is their lineage of teachers to do? 

JP: Right. How do they give back? How is their business and their work energetically being sent out to the world? Like, are they inviting people to work with them or are they pushing pain points, shaming, and then sending them into a funnel? I mean, that’s a very, that’s a harsh way of putting it, but we know that some people do it. There are so many other things that you should be looking at when you are seeking out a coach. And in particular, in the regards to this income conversation, a business coach. Yeah. Because if you are interested in something other than money and if you are listening to this podcast hosted by Katherine Mackenzie Smith, I know that you are otherwise, you wouldn’t be listening to this podcast right now. You need to think better than that. 

JP: Not, not just bigger. You need to think better. Yeah. Because that is not the only thing that should be the focus of someone that you’re seeking as a guide or even simply to be influenced by in the social media newsletter realm. If you want a business that is an expression of your soul, that feels in alignment with the life and the legacy that you wanna lead, that helps you to think about how you can function well as a human being and not become a business, aholic, a workaholic and be grinding and hustling yourself into the dirt. Yeah. Where you can, you know, really work on your self care, your mindset, your connection to yourself. So you can be in reverence space with your clients and not be triggered and upset by them all the time. I mean, I could just go on. 

KMS: I Know (LAUGHS)

JP: Then you will think more than just what they’re making. 

KMS: Yes, definitely. Definitely. Oh my goodness.

JP: So many the worms and Pandoras everybody 

KMS: I wanna talk for another three hours, I really just hope that hearing someone at the, the level of business and the leadership and the various different things that you do. I mean, I had so many questions I wanted to ask you today about being multi passionate. And what I’ve loved is in our industry, we see so much this push to, oh, as soon as you start, you wanna be scaling straight away into group programs into doing this and knowing your background of being a one-on-one coach for so many years before starting beautiful you and then seeing it come full circle to your returning to one-on-one. It’s one of my favorite things about you that you do business differently in a way that is just so much in alignment with you, that isn’t getting fixated on what everyone else is doing. And so my final question for you today is what would your number one suggestion or just another little Julie gem that you can drop on us for anyone who is maybe feeling they’re in that place of starting to put themselves out there or wanting to grow into something new, the next evolution of where they’re at right now that is gonna help them to navigate this personal leadership self discernment that we’ve talked so much about today. 

KMS: What have you learned that you can drop on us before we finish up? Oh, 

JP: Oh gosh, this is a really big one. Isn’t it? And again, you know, when I share something like this, it’s a path for life. It’s, it’s not, it’s not something that you can just drop in and go, yep. I’ve got that now. But to me, I think the most powerful thing when it comes to self leadership in the way that you’ve asked this question, Katherine is first of all, to constantly keep checking in with yourself, how does my heart feel? How does my soul feel? You know, what is true for me here? What is really true for me and understanding the layers that you might need to peel back to get to the heart and truth of that answer. Because sometimes we can ask, you know, ourselves how I feel and it might be well outrageously, freaking scared. And that then be, you know, a mind sign of, well, I should not do that, but it’s actually so often not, you have to have the courage to go beyond just your cerebral thinking and your head and really, really drop into your body, your heart and soul and go, okay, I’m scared, but I really want it. 

JP: Okay. I really want it. And then tapping in further with that, and this is a practice, you know, this is, this is a skill and it, and it’s something that you get better at the more you intuitively connect to yourself and pay loving attention to it and then act in your life and business from that space. And so to summarize that is like, keep going in, keep going in. 

KMS: Oh, so good. You can learn every hack and process and system and sales funnel out there. But at the end of the day, we started these businesses because of that deeper calling, that sole purpose and what a beautiful way to sum that up as I knew it would be. Thank you so much for being here. Is there anything for anyone who wants to go deeper with you or learn a little bit more about what you’ve got coming up later this year that you’d like to share with us today? 

JP: No. You can find me on the websites on the, on the socials, all of that sort of stuff. I’m such a believer when I come on to podcast that I’m here in service to your audience and I just know time and time again, that if someone is meant to more deeply connect with me in some way, they will know how to do that. 

KMS: Oh, love you so much, Julie Parker. Thank you so much. 

JP: Thank you Katherine, for having me on. 

KMS: Thank you so much for listening to the episode, please come over to Instagram and let me know if you enjoyed it. You can find me @miss_kms. Or you can leave a rating and review on the app that you’re listening to this on. It would mean so much to me! If you’d like to get a full transcript of this episode, learn more about Julie and her work, and grab any links from today as well as hear more about my experience training with the Beautiful You Coaching Academy, head to emergeandexpand.com/podcast002 

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