When I sit and think about what makes my life amazing, about 90% of it comes down to the ridiculously incredible relationships I have.
Sure, stuff is awesome. Coffee makes me endlessly happy. Snuggling in bed rocks. And don’t get me started on sun walks.
But people, they’re where it’s at.
If you’re having a moment of life confusion (or clarity even), it might feel like you’re about as far away from your peeps as possible.
Like they’re all set in their ways, living their life, loving their job, and you’re flailing out at sea all alone. That doesn’t mean that you’re alone or that you need to ditch you posse full stop, just maybe that you’re on a different frequency right now.
Don’t Ditch, Just Expand.
I’ve been there. You’re not as alone as you might think!
When I first realised I needed some new direction in my life, it became really confusing and kind of lonely. All my work friends were well on the path to their ideal television careers. Sure they all have ideas of other things they’d like to do, but right at the moment I was realising I needed to GTFO (get the f*** out), they didn’t get it at all.
My wonderful, supportive parents thought I might be going through a phase and in need of a different aspect of the industry to work in. My boyfriend, a born entrepreneur, kind of got it but maybe not the loneliness element because dudes tend to function differently to women.
I felt frustrated, at times, trying to work out what was wrong with me, why I was having another quarter-life crisis, and why I couldn’t just be content. Then, one day, I realised that there was NOTHING wrong with me, I was having a growth spurt and, perhaps, it was time to expand my network and add some new people to my kick ass people.
If I could find some like-minded beings who were going through, had been through, or were just out of the zone of huge life changes and the hunt for more, I knew it would all be okay! I needed people I could talk to about my plans and my hopes for the next few months (or the next few years) who weren’t going to look at me like I’d just gone cuckoo.
TOTAL GAME CHANGER.
Make an Effort
Over a year, I made it my mission to try new things, go to events alone, meet anyone and everyone for coffee, and make a real effort to get out there – both IRL (in real life) and by harnessing the power of the Internet and social media to discover who else was out, experiencing a similar life detour. Kind of terrifying for a self-confessed introvert.
I found coaches, e-courses, a naturopath, a kinesiologist, online groups, networking groups, Marie Foreleo’s B School, and Sydney blog events, and made some REALLY good friends – people who just got where my head was at.
Women who related to where my head was at, could guide me through it, and who maybe were looking for answers I was looking for (or had found) too.
What a difference it made to pretty much every aspect of my life.
It made me realise how important creating a community was. Thanks to the Internet and social media, that community is not restricted by location or time zone or physical ability to get somewhere. Some of my closest friends don’t live in the same area as me, and some, I’ve haven’t even met in person (yet!). But we have connected from near and far and it has made everything so much more powerful.
This is all just part of the life thing we’re living.
Some days you wake up and realise you’re not where you want to be. And some days the last thing you want to do is reach out and ask for help.
I promise that, once you connect with the right people, you will start moving mountains. This isn’t about finding the biggest businesses or bloggers or coaches or the hottest guys or girls or who’s huge right now.
This is about finding who’s right for you.
They’re out there. You just might have to let them know you’re ready to find them. Or go looking for yourself.
Take a look around you – in real life and online – and keep an eye out for anyone you feel particularly drawn to. It might be that they always make you laugh, or their tweets speak to you, or they really listen to you.
Know what you’re looking for (and in need of) in your life, and make an effort to find those people that will enrich your life.
Leave a comment on their post, invite them to brunch (who doesn’t love brunch), RSVP to an event you want to go to and be confident, even if you’re going alone.
When you know the kind of people you want to attract to your life, you’re pretty much just inviting them in.
It might be a little scary at first, but these are the people who will form your kick ass people and the beauty of your life. They will make it all worthwhile. I promise you.
Do you know this feeling? Leave a comment below and let’s connect!
This is just what I needed. I’m in the process of trying to find/build up my tribe and it can at times be a hard, stressful experience. I think I’m just going to relax a bit more about what people think of me, while still being proactive
Hi Sophie! I completely get that. I love the quote by Dita Von Tease “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.”
I remember reading this once and realising that when you love and accept yourself, you start to attract people who love and accept you. Not everyone is going to click with you, but the ones who do will be the ones who are worth it!
Totally true love!!! Just need to keep going, and make the effort to reach out to people you seem to ‘click’ with at events etc. It works 😉
Sure does! That’s how I found YOU!
most def used to know this feeling, until I met ya 😉 X
I know, right!? Now I just need to talk you into moving to Sydney 😉
Love this post Ketherine! Totally relate to your experience of that shift and the loneliness that comes with it. Thanks for sharing x x
Thanks, Nicola! Lucky there are some pretty amazing people out there for us to connect with, hey!?