The Day I Threw Out My Plan And Started Again
PIN FOR LATER:
Hi and welcome to the first post here on katherinemackenziesmith.com.
I can’t even begin to explain how it feels to finally be writing again after months of working on bringing this idea to life. And, trust me, there is still a LONG way to go.
But, sometimes in life, you just have to stop stalling and TAKE A LEAP!
Know what I mean?
Sometimes that leap isn’t so big. It’s more like a timid step. Or a tiptoe. I’ll tell you now, though, once you start that forward motion (regardless of how big or small), there’s not going back, baby!
The wheels are turning, the ball is rolling, the kettle is boiling. It’s on.
My Working-in-TV Plan
Let me go back to about a year ago. I was in Brisbane for work and the irony of that was almost palpable. You see, two years earlier, I’d finally made the move from Brisbane to Sydney to work in television. The industry had dried up in Brissie after Big Brother was cancelled and I realised that if I didn’t go, I’d always regret it. So, I packed up my life and moved to Sydney with hopes of working on a big show, starting again from the bottom, and working my way up to what I wanted.
Which leads me to how I found myself back in Brisbane. I got an urgent call to fly to Queensland to start work on a show the next day. They were in the process of shooting four high school formals in one week and it would be my first official associate producing gig since moving to Sydney. Without so much as a pause to acknowledge that, I jumped a plane and prepared myself for the slog of shoots ahead of me.
I think in the 7-days straight, working around 12 hours each day, I did about 1000kms of driving around the Gold Coast, the Sunshine Coast, and Brisbane, on enough shoots to make up a quarter of the series.
On the last shoot, a good friend called me to congratulate me on my exciting new role, knowing how long I’d been trying to get the job. I remember the conversation vividly now because of how momentous it has become to where my life is at now.
I was tired and probably hungry and so a little grumpy when I took the call. I’d been waiting up the road for about 20 minutes to cue the talent for their grand arrival shot and so I most likely wasn’t in the greatest of moods. I found myself whinging to him about the driving, lack of sleep, ridiculous schedule, and crazy hours.
He had called me to congratulate me.
And all I could do was complain.
When it finally occurred to me that this wasn’t right, it hit me like a tonne of bricks.
After two years of working my way up, in an industry that – let’s face it – is pretty cool, I was finally on track to what I wanted. And I still wasn’t happy.
It just didn’t feel right.
And my poor little introverted soul was just plain exhausted.
How I Get What I Want
I should probably explain a little further.
First of all, I’m a white, cis gendered, hetero, able bodied woman living in Australia. So let’s just start with that, hey? Hello, privilege, I’ve got you.
I’m kind of a quiet achiever and an OVER achiever and once I set my mind to something, I usually get it. Not because I’m a spoiled brat. Or because I’ll lie, cheat, and steal my way through. And not because I’m really, really good looking (I jest). But because once I know what I want, I will keep on going until I get there (plus, the privilege, right?)
And decisions are hard for me, but once I know, I know.
In 2000, at 15, I did work experience in a post production company in Brisbane and decided that’s where I would work after uni. In 2005, I got my first ‘real job’ there. When I was in high school, dancing was my favourite thing in life, but I wasn’t the best at it. I persisted with my passion and graduated top of my class. I knew which uni I would go to and did. And that I would go overseas after graduating. Which I also did. And when I finally worked out the kind of guy I wanted to spend my life with, I wrote it down and he found me.
When I moved to Sydney, I wanted to work at Fox Studios. Did that too.
And recently I turned down a 9-month job (a REALLY long contract for TV) on a well known cooking show that had been the catalyst for my move to Sydney.
So, yeah, I’m kind of one of those annoying goal setters who really does exactly what I set out to do.
Creating a New Plan and Starting Again
I’m really not trying to brag, I swear. I hope that by explaining all of this, I’m giving you some context.
Since I was 15, I knew what I wanted to do in life and I worked my butt off to get there.
When I was 27, a totally innocent phone conversation metaphorically smashed me across the head and told me that I got it wrong or, perhaps, that I had changed and my goals had not. And, after this pretty devastating (but also totally liberating) realisation, I’m still trying to pull myself away from the path I chose so long ago.
Launching this business is a BIG deal for me.
It’s the much needed step in a new direction.
It’s the reason I just said no to the big job on a show I actually moved to Sydney hoping to work on nearly three years ago.
And today I’m acknowledging that I threw out my plan. And, now, I’m starting again.
Go On, Throw It Out (I dare you)
When I finally decided that I wasn’t happy with the direction my dreams were taking me, it allowed me to take a look at what I actually wanted and was hoping to get out of life.
If TV didn’t fire me up any more, what did?
If I wasn’t enjoying working on my current goals, what was I enjoying?
If I didn’t like how my life was looking, what did I want it to look like?
“If you don’t like where you are, change it. You are not a tree.”
– Jim Rohn
Nothing that we do in life is permanent – not even living! If you find yourself in a place that and don’t like it, then you alone are in charge of changing it! We get so caught up in responsibility and guilt and the dreaded ‘shoulds’ that years can pass and we suddenly find that we are strangers to our hearts. We don’t know what we want, and we barely recognise ourselves.
Where did that free-spirited dreamer go?
They’re hiding underneath a pile of laundry and bills and (in my case) television call sheets.
This is it, my friends.
This life is too short to stick with a plan that doesn’t work any more. We don’t know what happens next. We could have this one life. And a very fleeting one at that. There’s not enough time to be spent wishing for something else. There is only time to find what you most love and do that instead.
Go on, throw out your current plan if it’s not working. Start again. And keep going until you find your true passion.
That’s the beauty of life.
Have you ever thrown out your plan and started again (or do you want to)? Tell me all about it in the comments below. Let’s do this together!
If you WANT to throw out your plan but have no idea where to start, check out my Step Into Your Soul Work Visualisation and PDF Workbook below: