The New Way Of Handling Your Emotions
PIN THE NEW WAY OF HANDLING YOUR EMOTIONS FOR LATER:
I think it’s fair to say I’m not alone when I tell you that my whole life I’ve thought I was ‘too emotional’. I feel too much. I laugh loud enough for the neighbours to hear. I cry harder. And more frequently.
I would not be surprised if most highly sensitive people have experienced this as well.
For so long we’ve been told sensitivity is a weakness. We have grown up believing that we are too much. Or not enough. Not tough enough.
Often we’ve been told this by people who love us SO much that they are afraid for our survival in the harshness of the world.
As a result, we inherit beliefs about ourselves that aren’t true (this goes for everyone in some respect but this example pertains to sensitive souls in particular and our relationship with our emotions).
I’m going to be going into WAY more detail in an upcoming workshop called All The Feels (you can register at the bottom of this). But, for now, let’s look at how we can start to approach our emotions in a new light.
THERE ARE NO ‘GOOD’ OR ‘BAD’ EMOTIONS
I’m sure as soon as you even start to think about which emotions are the good ones and which are the bad ones, you’ve already started grouping together which is which, right?
You might have seen a popular sentiment going around online, ‘Good vibes only’, which is problematic and super bypass-y on so many levels.
The truth is, we’ve all come here to have a fully human experience. And, with that, comes the full spectrum of emotions and moments.
There are no good and bad emotions. They are all relevant and they are all part of the experience. And we all have our own unique journey to embark on.
But for so long we have been forced into this binary (of so many things, don’t get me started). That something is good OR bad, this OR that.
And, because of that, we have developed shame around our emotions. Guilt if we are down, Shame if we can’t be happy for our loved ones. Embarrassment for crying (especially in public or for the male folk).
We’re told anger and rage are ‘low vibe’. But have you seen the impact rage, disgust, and disappointment can have as fuel for action?
What if we could accept our emotions as what they are, without judgement. Notice shame. Acknowledge pain. Laugh when you can. Cry when you need to.
Why? Well that is my next point.
EMOTIONS ARE ENERGY IN MOTION
The reason that we’re seeing so much of a call to energy work and healing is that there’s a lot of heavy shit going on in the world right now. And for all the generations that have been taught to suppress and hide our emotions, all that has led to is energy being trapped in our bodies, in our cells, in our nervous systems.
And then being passed down to the next generation through our DNA.
So sometimes the emotional trauma that is in your body and your energy field…um…isn’t even yours.
It’s no surprise that – at this point in time – stress, anxiety and depression are at the forefront of illness. Of course this is a nuanced subject that there is still lots of research being done (by way smarter people than me!). But what if it was possible that these stress, anxiety and depression were signs of unresolved emotions and traumas trapped in our body?
And that we choose to no longer suppress, hide, shame, judge or invalidate our own experience with emotions (or that of anyone else either).
Stress is a real time indicator that sends our body into fight or flight mode. Anxiety is often a result of fear in the body due to those stress emotions and chemicals not being processed and dealt with so our nervous system goes into lock down and we start operating purely from our limbic brain survival reactions. Depression is a state where our system is completely exhausted from fighting and hanging on for too long.
In kinesiology, we acknowledge these states as first, second, and third stage stress in the body – where the muscles actually indicated to us what stage of stress the body is around a certain subject.
When we connect with our bodies through embodiment, direct our attention to the places in our body that are speaking to us through very obvious sensations, pain, or tension, we can start allow the emotions to move through us.
Have you ever been SO upset that you thought you might never stop crying? Where your body completely shuts down and you sob uncontrollably?
And then, just like that, it passes?
That is a huge release and surrender to the energy that needs to move through you.
It doesn’t always result in tears – although I recently heard that crying is the body’s response to just simply getting to the absolute edge of intensity where it can’t hold onto the emotion any more and crying is the perfect release.
When we give ourselves (and those around us) permission to feel their emotions, to fully surrender to whatever needs to move through us, we let go of the guilt and shame around feeling deeply and self healing as we go instead of waiting until the unexpressed energy has lodged itself in our bodies and then been passed down through our family line and carried on.
YOU ARE NOT YOUR EMOTIONS
This is one of the most powerful realisations I’ve ever had in my 30-something years – to understand that the emotions we are feeling and experiencing are NOT the entirety of who we are.
That doesn’t mean that what you feel isn’t valid. It is. And we need to acknowledge that. But there is a liberation in understanding that, this too shall pass.
The impermanence of the energy moving through you can allow you to fully feel it, process it, and release it. That you can feel the depths of despair, grief, disappointment, hurt. And you can also hold the radiance of who you are.
This is a practise, one I believe we should all be taught to understand and embody from a young age. But even now, as we’re becoming more open to emotional intelligence and energy work, it is our opportunity to see and feel emotions as an experience, and one that is not good or bad, but just part of our life here on Earth.
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR HIGHLY SENSITIVE PEOPLE?
If the nervous system is the super highway for emotions and – by definition – highly sensitive people have more sensitive nervous systems. What this means is that we, possibly more than anyone, need to be hyper aware of our emotions and where we’re not allowing ourselves the ability to move that energy through us.
More empathic types can actually take on the emotions of others, so it’s important that we create really strong beautiful boundaries to lessen the blow of what’s going on for other people. We can still be there for them, but we don’t need to take on what they’re going through and – as my dad would put it – get in the hole with them. That doesn’t help anyone.
We also need to understand our energy and be really mindful of where we’re leaking or holding onto stuff that needs to move through us and be released.
This can be done by simply having a cry when you need to. Screaming when you need to. Moving your body and letting the sensations speak to you and release. Working with energy or nervous system practitioners (I work with both and it has made a HUGE difference in my life).
Emotions are powerful, they can allow us the activation we need to take extreme action. To change the world. To move ourselves and others.
And it’s time we started to shift our perspective of their power, instead of allowing them to overcome and drown us in ongoing suffering.
We get to choose.
Want to know more? My next FREE (and pitch-free) online workshop is called All The Feels and is centered around emotions for HSPs, empaths, and introverts.
Pop your details in the box below to register and get all the info for the call (and the recording afterwards if you can’t make it live).
If you’d like to go further, you can join my upcoming online workshop, Quiet Energy on July 20th at 10am Australian Eastern Standard Time.
In the workshop, we’ll cover:
// Why introverts, empaths, and highly sensitive people are susceptible to overwhelm and overthinking via our emotions;
// How emotions affect our nervous system and how to better understand what’s going on in our bodies;
// How to accept your heightened emotions and experiences as a highly sensitive person and what you need in overwhelming situations;
// Tools and tips to take with you after the workshop and implement into your life;
// Plus there’ll be some helpful worksheets to take with you and implement after the workshop!