I’ll be honest when I say that I’m all for Internet abbreviations, memes, and I love a gif more than I probably should (it’s like real life moving Harry Potter photos, what’s not to love?!) but there is one thing that I am taking a stand on:
If you’re unfamiliar with the term, it stands for Fuck My Life (sorry Grandma).
I’m giving the early incarnation the benefit of the doubt because I believe the original intention was for those moments where you just want to die of embarrassment and you feel that only you could have done that/said that/ had that happen to them.
We’ve all been there.
What I can’t stand is that now it seems like an excuse for those who don’t want to take responsibility for their lives.
Because FML implies that your current situation is a result of bad luck or the hand you were dealt.
And that drives me crazy. Because it’s not true. Sure we are maybe genetically wired to do things a certain way and I guess that could have cause for an FML every now and again (you could waste hours on FML.com laughing at the unfortunate examples) but, really, I most frequently hear this phrase associated with totally controllable circumstances.
“My pants won’t button up, FML.”
“My bank account overdrew, FML.”
“My friends are successful and I’m not, FML.”
Those examples are the opportunity for two choices. To blame what you’ve been handed in life, or to come to one very significant understanding:
Where you are in life is exactly where you choose to be.
Life is not completely out of our control.
Sure, there are a million things that we cannot change, but usually those circumstances are a result of a choice we have made.
Cause and effect.
As the Merovingian says in The Matrix: Reloaded.
Pants feeling tight? Chances are, this is from the decisions you have made leading up to the point where that button doesn’t want to do up.
Money issues? How much energy have you put into taking control of your finances lately?
Feeling as though your friends are ahead of you? Comparison is a tough one but there’s a good chance, if this is actually true, that they’ve invested in themselves, worked out what they want, gone after things they want, taken risks, failed, and kept trying.
Maybe I’m taking it too seriously, but I feel as though there’s a general apathy emerging in parts of our society and I feel like FML is the catch cry for it. And, sure, it might have originated with humorous intentions but have you ever noticed how words or phrases actually get right into your psyche and start taking on different meanings?
It’s how limiting beliefs are formed.
Repeating patterns, thoughts, words until our brain looks for ways to prove them as fact. It’s so easy to say ‘FML’ and accept that is the best you can get.
And then it’s only a matter of time before you actually start to believe it and then your life starts to reflect those beliefs.
That life isn’t fair, especially yours. That others have it better than you. That they are lucky and you are not (because FML takes you out of the driver’s seat of your life).
[pullquote width=”300″ float=”left”]”Carpe, carpe diem. Seize the day. Make your lives extraordinary.” – Dead Poet’s Society[/pullquote]
So, here’s a thought:
Stop saying FML.
Not for me and my soap box ranting. But for your life and the ability you have to make it extraordinary.
Want a starting point?
:: Practice gratitude for what you have instead of picking apart the not-so-great stuff with a throw away FML.
:: Look at your life, look at your choices. And if you don’t like it, change it.
:: Accept that many things are out of your control, but there are endless opportunities to seize the day instead of dismissing it.
:: Take a stand. Life is too short to sit on the side lines. Get passionate about something, put yourself out into the world to be seen, invest in your life, tell the people in your life how much they mean to you.
:: Laugh, cry, find joy in the simplest things. Live life fully and wholeheartedly, knowing that sometimes it will hurt and sometimes it will feel amazing. Feel all the feelings.
It’s up to you, it’s your choice. But give your precious life the respect it deserves, beautiful.
Please forward this to a friend who needs to drop FML from their lingo (you might change their life) and leave me a comment below with your thoughts on FML and its place in our lives!
Want to take back your life? Book in a free 30-minute discovery session with me and let’s work out your first steps. Email katherine (at) thebeautyoflife (dot) com (dot) au