One of the biggest things that my clients and other introverts and highly sensitive folks ask me is how to stop worrying what others think of them.
When it comes to them following their passion.
Speaking up about current world events.
Sharing things that have changed their lives.
And ways that they have messed up or failed.
Related Post: Let’s Talk About Perfectionism
It’s not a huge surprise. Many of us have grown up believing that failure is bad. That we must be PERFECT. And that if we don’t fit in, we won’t survive.
But, here’s the thing… Introverts are good at being on our own.
In fact, I know that I’m way out of alignment with my inner guidance system when I’m worrying what is going on outside of myself.
When I start comparing what I’m doing with other people.
Or I start feeling heavily affected by those around me.
How To Stop Worrying What Others Think
I’ll give you a hot tip… trying to fit in and not ruffle any feathers is a sure-fire way to be totally ignored.
You’re not going to cut through the noise by trying to please everyone. So it’s time to decide…what matters more?
How much are you dulling the fullness of YOU to please others?
And, in doing so, how much is it taking the potency out of what you have to offer?
Here are 3 ways to start shifting your energy and focus away to stop worrying what others think to energising something SO much more exciting.
1. You’re Thinking About Yourself WAY More Than Anyone Else Is
I’m sorry if this is harsh, but it’s also true.
We get up in our little overthink-y brains and pick apart every minute detail of what we’re doing, where we’re getting it wrong, and how much people probably think we suck.
But, in all honesty, no one is paying as much attention to your work as you are.
It’s so easy to destroy an idea, an offering, a creation before it even sees the light of day. All that energy goes into it and then you just shelve it.
Or, worse, put it out – after expending SO. MUCH. ENERGY. and then no one even notices.
How can you get out of your way?
I’ve started writing Instagram posts (for example) when I’m in a good flow state and then schedule them to auto post on a more consistent schedule using Later. This way I actually take ME out of the equation.
Before I started doing this, I would either not post for months or I’d create a bunch of drafts and then hold off posting them.
Automating some things actually helps me get out of the way. I also have learnt to move quickly on things so I don’t talk myself out of them or worry what others think because I literally don’t give myself time to do that.
Now this might not work for you, it’s important to find how you work best, but sometimes changing a bunch of habits in our business can actually make it easier to find out what works for us!
2. When you’re worrying about what others think, you’re not focusing on your big vision OR your people.
This is SO common in my clients and new coaches I work with.
The more time and energy we spend worrying about whether we are ‘good enough’, whether we’re getting our clients results, or freaking out about charging for our work, we’re actually not focusing where we need to focus.
On our big vision and our people.
I know, I know. It’s not so easy to just suddenly not be self conscious, hypercritical, and overthink everything we do…so what does it feel like to, instead, shift our focus back to where the magic is?
Thinking about the bigger purpose and mission that we’re stepping into.
Putting our energy into holding space and supporting our clients, instead of worrying about ourselves…
This is a mindset shift that can change everything, because the energy is completely different.
Next time you’re freaking out about taking money for your services, your ‘performance’ in your sessions or service you offer, raising your prices, or worrying what others think… remember this…
Your client is a sovereign being with the capacity to make decisions that feel right to them.
They chose to work with you for a reason.
It’s not your job to justify or try and prove that you’re worthy.
No, it’s your job to show up for them. And it’s really freaking hard to do that when you’re worrying about yourself (even if it’s ‘Oh I wonder what they think of how I’m doing’)
When you stop worrying what others think (the general public, your clients, or potential clients), you shift your focus to how you can show up for them, what they need in that moment, and the invitation and opportunity your are presenting for them to invest in themselves (not you).
3. How To Find Your Own Lane (so you’re not competing with anyone)
Another thing that I’ve dealt with myself and many of my clients worry about as well is that – for most of us – we follow lots of other amazing folks in our industry.
It can be so easy to feel that Imposter Syndrome kick in – a classic capitalism mindset that has fucked us all right up – and see the highlights reel of our friends, mentors, and peers and just think that we suck.
I remember saying this exact thing to my partner once:
Why would anyone work with ME when they could work with (my coach)?
And he said this:
“You love coffee right? And where your FAVOURITE cafe is in our neighbourhood, there are also three right next to it. But they are all full on the weekends and everyone has their favourite for a reason. Same deal.”
Gotta love that earthed Capricorn energy mixed with being a white dude, right!? Haha (bless his cotton socks).
But he was right.
The things that people LOVE you for will be because of who YOU are.
There are over 7 billion people on the planet and more than enough for you to find your people. And, so often, the people who just get you don’t actually resonate with those that you are enviously stalking on the ‘gram.
When you find your sweet spot that encompasses all aspects of you, that’s when you’ll really discover how there is room for everyone and you’re not actually competing with anyone.
Ready To Get Confident With Who You Are And What You Do?
Starting on July 13th, I’m running a free 5-day momentum builder called Master Your Message.
We’re going to get to the heart of what you do and who you help so you can build the strong foundations for your work and feel confident sharing it.
Because, when you feel strong and confident, that energy is palpable and WILL draw your people to you.
This challenge will be live and is likely the only time I’ll be running it this year, so make sure you jump on board and let’s take all the worry out of your work and elevate to a whole new level.